35 Remaining.

Once again, I have failed to blog for a long period of time. Reasoning is... it has been a tough few weeks mentally. Experiencing unexpected betrayal hurts. Sometimes it's better when you see the knife going into your back, because at least you're prepared for it to hurt. Maybe next time, I'll sidestep my way through my daily life constantly on the lookout because 360 degrees around me, there seems to always be a threat. Because of this, the dreams have returned. Paranoia is more than for schizophrenics. Fear more than just fear itself.

I hate the trust I can't give, and I hate myself when my given trust is compromised. So you have forced me to compromise my trust.

Maybe its time for me to truly turn away; from people. Solitary, I only have me to blame. I only have me to worry about. I'm tired of drama, tired of playing these mind games, tired of this world. People need to realize something, what you use, you need to respect. I've been used, and passed on one too many times. I'm worn out and the human race needs to throw me away, because I'd much rather be resting, and wasting away because I've served my time.

The past has passed, the joy, the fun, all the seasons in the sun have gone as the years slip into my memory. And all memories are sealed as memories. Maybe its time to let go, and make new memories. The future awaits. I alone can build my future; because its clear that I can't rely on anyone else. I feel left behind, and I know there wont be a time where any of you will look back on me. Let it all die in the past, fade to black and we'll repaint what is to come. Hatred begets hatred, so no hatred is founded, only forgiveness and the forget of those events which have passed.

I'm taking this road on my own. The journey which follows is a hard one, but its one well traveled.

Song of the day

Westlife - Seasons in the Sun

There has been joy, fun and seasons in the sun for you and false ones for me. Its hard to die, but it must be done. Goodbye to you.