49 Remaining.

I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand. It's difficult to show everyone my self in fear of ridicule, in fear of judgement, in fear of losing something I've worked so hard to build. Respect and an image of strength and stability. When day in and out, you hope to provide motivation and happiness to those around you, its difficult to seek you're own motivation and happiness. And on those day's where you can't find you're own; its even harder to provide it to others.

Simply wake up, put on the mask, and give the world the best show you can as the world is our stage. Hopefully getting smiles, laughs and brightening days. To appease my anger or shield my sadness. By solving others problems I can hide my own. Drown my sorrows in your laughter rather then alcohol. Is it ok that I'm unhappy? To me yes. Why is it ok? Because I yearn to see you smile, yearn to see you happy; and am happy knowing you're ok.

If I see myself as weak, the pillar I've made myself, then it's easy to see how others fall apart. I'd rather I sacrifice myself in hopes that I can keep it together for someone else. And I know that everyone else is stronger then they appear, because often case, its natural for people to live for reaction. But honestly, if I fell apart, me thinking I'm strong... it makes sense that others would.

We Live to fit in. Where is my place in it all? Why do I hide my pain? So I can avoid the pity of others? But then how can I pity others, subject others to what I hate most? Where do I turn to for support? What can I show the world? All I want is for everyone around me to be happy, maybe then I can trick myself into being happy. Idealistic? Yes. Peace and fraternity is all I ask for, if only this were everyones thoughts. If only everyone played the "selfless" game. But the am I just being selfish for lying to myself, lying to the world in hopes of making it a "better place" in my eyes.

You be the judge. How would the world be if everyone were as geniune as their thoughts. Deepest ideologies expressed. Extremes to bee seen. I can imagine, no one would see eye to eye. Angry voices would flow from mouths to deaf ears, everyone looking out for their own best interests. For humanity sake, I hope everyone acts, and acts well. Everyone appeases one another and maybe we can pretend we're at peace.

Song of the day:

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

You cant fight reality, or the moment of truth in your lies; as the truth is the truth. The only thing you can fight is yourself in how you should act or how you want to act.